Sep.15

Man’s three best friends; Man’s three worst enemies – Part 2

Man’s three best friends; Man’s three worst enemies  – Part 2

He could even auction off his kidney on Ebay or sell that plot he inherited from him father, the one at Gatwanyaga (this is a fictional village no offence if it really exist). ‘They’ say good food is a gateway to a man’s heart (and by heart they mean feelings/emotions/ego). There is something about home cooked meals (packaged with love) that really makes a man docile; totally domesticated (no offence to my domesticated friends who are now enjoying legal sex). No one can argue with this one. Ladies, if you want to know more try this… Don’t give your husband/boyfriend the kind of food he likes to eat (and if you don’t know what he likes to eat pole! Sana) and watch if he’s going to come home early as usual or be lovey-dovey and shit the following day.

And too bad for you when he finds another woman who can feed him, fuck him and massage his ego, because this is where the infidelity circle starts. If you are wondering about how you could massage its ego (then you are a failure already). It’s the simple things he does and you acknowledge or appreciate (no matter how silly they look), for instance open the door for you… and Oh! Here is a good one, the light bulb in the bedroom needs some changing, you can sure do it without his help, and all you need is a foot stool and a new bulb… DO NOT DO IT! Wait for him to come home and change it, and after he has done it, tell him “I like the way you changed the bulb, dear” (lol…like there are 69 ways to change a light bulb). The trick here is to make him as relevant as you can in your home or your life… believe you me, it works like magic. Ladies doubting this, you will loose your man to a bitch who makes him relevant, for instance that friend of yours who keeps on calling him for advices about her boyfriend.

Fellows, don’t get me wrong, food and sex sex is all good. But even the ‘nicest’ of things can kill you if consumed irresponsibly.

On the other other issue of Jomos. Well let’s just say that this is the oil that make the wheels of sex and food turn without a squeak. They (I’m still trying to find out who ‘they’ is) say money cannot buy you happiness… but for real though… it can buy the hell out of things that can make you happy… like Va-jay-jay and Food

Peace and Love!

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